Nov 22 2016 - The cost of doing things, has changed for me.

Sun Nov 20 2016 – 07:10

Brrr. 5C(40F) I am a wimp.

The bear outside my RV doesn't seen to think the cold is unpleasant.

There were bears outside when I went to bed, and there is a bear outside now.

Last night I had a good shower. I made out of some shelving, a seat between the edges of the bathtub. I can slide from the toilet onto the shower seat. Now I need grab bars.

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Monday 21 November

On my buddy's property where I am staying, there is a shower. A very rustic shower, but well made, and it even has an electric hot water heater. It is used by people that camp or hunt on the property. 

There is a WW2 re-enactment next week, followed by a huge DJ party. The shower will be used lots.

I decided to get the shower all clean for those people. 

The ground if covered with tree debris from the hurricane. Normal walking is difficult, and walking with a prosthetic leg is very time consuming. Because of the high grass and the thousands of branches laying around, my prosthetic leg seldom swings forward enough to lock. I use a walking stick to smack the leg forward to lock the knee. This requires balancing on my good leg while pushing the prosthetic leg into lock. At least when I fall, it is on soft ground. The property is mostly clumps of grass growing in sand. Now everything is covered with a few inches of pine needles and branches.

First 10 minutes was walking between the shower and the shed trying to find the key to the shower. 

Next 10 minutes was getting the hot water heater on.

The inside of the shower was all moldy, dirty, and full of little green frogs.

There is a hose pipe that looks like it has not been used in years. It is all kinked, and the temperature last night was 38F (4C) so the hose was stiff. 

It took me almost 1 hour walking back and forth to unkink the hose, to get the water flowing.

Then I went back to the RV to get spray soap, my grabber bar, and a sponge. I sprayed the shower, (and frogs) and used the grabber bar to hold the sponge, and wiped down the inside of the shower.

Now the shower is much cleaner, and so are the frogs.

All in all, I spent 2 hours doing a job that would have taken 20 minutes a few years ago.

All this hard work reminded me about the Russian Socialist movement of many years ago. They figured that a fair pricing of an item should be a reflection of the amount of labor necessary to make the item, or complete the service. Equal pay, for equal work.

So, if it takes 20 man hours to grow 20 tomatoes, then each tomato should be worth one hour labor. If it takes 100 hours to paint a house, then you can compare tomatoes to painting a house.

The problem was, of course, that if someone grows tomatoes in a computerized, hydroponic system, then each tomato only costs 10 minutes. So you had tomatoes at the market for 1 hour cost, right next tomatoes for 10 minutes cost. Both are fair prices, and both are worth what they are charging. But which would the people buy?

I used to earn about $100 an hour. So for cleaning of the shower, I should be compensated about $200. (R 2600). 

My buddy could have got someone to clean the shower for the price of a beer.

I struggled for 2 hours, and fell, and got wet, and probably got a blister on my stump, and all that effort is worth the price of a beer. 

Because of cancer, and an amputation, my labor has gone from being worth $100 an hour, to about $1 an hour.   

My labor is worth about 1% of what it used to be worth. 

Of course sometimes, the labor is worth it. Last night the football game was on, but my TV antenna on the RV roof was pointed the wrong direction. So in the dark and cold, and with the prosthetic leg on, I climbed up onto the roof of my RV, and re-pointed the antenna. This is something that 2 years ago would have required caution, and planning. But now it was exhausting and dangerous. 

I think that sometimes I get so fed up with being useless, that I just don't care about the risk, and do stupid things.  

This shows that I should concentrate my energies on thing that I can still do with the same effort as a few years ago. So instead of cleaning showers, I should be setting up DNS servers. :-)

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Tuesday 22 November 06:30

Temperature inside the RV is 4C.(about 40F)

I no longer take care to be quiet in the RV just because there are bears around. They seem to be getting used to the noise.

This morning is a mother with one small cub standing under the big tree. I gave up trying to tell them apart. It could be the same bear over and over :-)

A small cub came by all by itself. I wanted to capture it and give it to a friend. :-)

I have 5 credit/debit cards that don't work. I'll sort out the ones I can today.

I will also get my guns and spears from the shop.

I need to install my grab bars.

My mind is full of thoughts about my car. I tried to drive the beetle in Pretoria. It was not possible to push the clutch. I want to try to drive my Metro, but it has a foot clutch also. I love that car.

I might be able to build a hand operated clutch.

I might be able to make it electric.

My buddy has loaned me his car for a few days. I need to zoom around lots to get thinks done. His car is a Ford escape Hybrid. It is one of the very few automatic transmission cars that can be towed with all four wheels on the ground. I like playing with the electric drive part of the hybrid system.

The Escape get about 30 MPG (7 L/100km) which is good for an SUV.

Later

Oct 15 2016 - Life getting Real.

I have just spent lots of money, and bought plane tickets to the USA.
 I leave South Africa in the middle of November, for Daytona Beach Florida. I should be back in South Africa by May-ish 2017.  I bought tickets that I can change the return date up until November 2017. That would be a whole year away.
If I feel that I can return to my old life style of 6 months SA and 6 month USA, then I would want to be in both places in summer, NOT winter. That means staying till November 2017 would put me back in the right cycle.

I have some Oncology tests next month, on the 9th Nov and the 10th Nov. Assuming these are OK, then by the following week, I'll be in Daytona Beach.
My Florida buddy says he will fetch me at the airport, and take me to the RV.
His House, and the RV both survived the Hurricane.
 Some guy on TV in South Carolina, was asked if his house was damaged by the strong wind from the Hurricane. He answered that there was no wind damage at all, because his whole house had been under water. :-)

I am very concerned about wearing my prosthetic leg for so long during the flight.  It will be 34 hours from my Pretoria house, to the RV in Florida. After about 5 hours, I usually want to take it off. :-)
I will need many stump socks to enlarge the stump as it shrinks.
I have spent a lot of time with Delta Airlines on the phone, trying to get a good seat, and arranging everything. They want to take the prosthesis and check it in as baggage. I definitely don't want that.
I will start wearing it longer and longer each day, to try to be ready for the trip. If I get a seat with plenty of room, then I will be able to take the prosthesis off and hold it in my lap. If I get a seat with very little room, then I will still take the prosthesis off and hold it in my lap. :-)

I haven't planned enough regarding my transport while I am in the USA. I'll never drive my car there again.  It has a manual transmission. I really like that car.  :-(
Maybe I can convert it to an electric car. :-)

I am debating just renting a car at the Daytona airport when I arrive, and having that problem solved for the first week. I will need to do shopping and probably buy parts for the RV. So much, depends on so much. I hate that.

I am actually quite nervous about this trip. I have done all I can to arrange wheelchairs and baggage trolleys at the various airports. All the airports say that wheelchairs are available on a first come first serve basis. That could screw me over during the Atlanta connection. That is one reason I am flying all flights Delta.

I am only taking clothes, toys, my prosthetic leg, and a cane. No crutches or wheel chair. I need to see what will be necessary for living in the RV. I may buy crutches, or maybe a wheelchair once I am there. Unfortunately, the time I'll need them most, is the first few days in the RV. I fear my poor stump will want a few days rest after the flight.
 I also am worried about the prosthetic leg while walking on the Florida property. Walking on uneven ground is a real bitch, and that ground is all uneven. Clumps of grass growing in sand. Moving around on the property may be easier with crutches.
I am excited about getting to see the bears again. They roam all over the Florida Property. I wonder which is best for running away from bears, crutches, or a prosthetic leg.
Here is a picture of a bear and cubs taken from inside my RV during my last Florida visit..

And here is a picture of my RV and a Bear with cubs.

The ranch in Texas will be better for walking, if I stay on the roads. I'll still be paranoid, because I'll be slow. Being slow, AND being in the food chain is a bad combination.

 Inside the RV will be problematic. The passage is to narrow for crutches or a wheelchair. I have racked my brain to try to figure out how to get into the bathroom in the RV. I am so dependent on grab bars everywhere. The grab bars I have in this house would rip the walls apart in the RV.  Here in Pretoria, I also have a very strong bar going across the ceiling in the bathroom.

 Wheelchair ramps are only useful for wheel chairs. They are counterproductive with a prosthetic leg. I am very concerned about the steps up into the RV.

 I am so worried about a thousand things. But that is what will make "everything" I do exciting. Maybe not pleasant, :-) but definitely not boring.

 The life I had a few years ago, was designed and built by me. It was how I wanted my life to play out. That has changed. Fate, did not listen to my desires.

 I still want to live on the cheap. But I may have to throw money at any problems like hotel, car rental, buying  wheelchair, crutches, or even a different RV if necessary. Spending money for non-toys gives me hives. I am allergic to it.

 I may have to ask my friends for help in hooking the RV up. Electricity, water, and sewage. So much depends on the health of my stump. I hate being totally dependent on something that is so variable and nebulous. I can not wrap my mind around hooking up the RV sewage pipes, while in a wheel chair, on sand while in Florida, or on rocky ground while in Texas.
 A sore on the stump may mean a month without a prosthesis. Only a wheelchair or crutches. Of course, if I would lower my life expectations, and be happy with just reading a book, and looking out a window, then it wouldn't matter as much.

 I need to visit my Brother in Washington..
 I would like to drive the RV to Texas, but I'll fly to visit Washington.
I think I'll spend a few months in Florida, with good friends, then drive the RV to Texas, and spend a few more months with good friends.
If I need help driving, I'll ask someone to drive with me. Something simple like a sore stump, and bad phantom pain would mean drugs and not driving till it gets better.
I could get stuck in someplace like NOLA indefinitely. (This is a good lead in, for a talk on suicide.) :-)

Another patient I knew from my chemo days has died. He had colon cancer. He was healthy on a three month check up, then dead before the next three month check up.
 I also am sort of stuck in South Africa because of my Medical Aid. I am so sad that I don't see me living in America. :-( I should be with bears, and coyotes. I understand them better than people.

I just noticed how almost every paragraph of this blog, starts with the word "I". That should tell you what the blog is all about. :-)
The word "I" is used 84 times. Please don't tell my Buddhist teacher.

 I have now expressed some of my fears and worries. (85)

Since being diagnosed with Angiosarcoma, and having my leg amputated, I have kept myself securely encased in my small world. A world of easy wheel chair movement, lots of grab bars, and everything in easy reach. Now I will experience real life. On it's terms, not mine. (87)
I feel like this is where all the "theory" of daily prosthetics use, gets real. (88)