Oct 7 2016 - Hurricane and Air Bladders.

03:30
I can't sleep.
No special reason.
 Not cancer, or pain, or drugs.
 Just a normal, garden variety, can't sleep.

I don't think my mind ever completely rests. I woke up at 03:00 thinking a jumble of thoughts.
 My Florida friends and hurricane Mathew.
 Air bladders for my prosthesis socket.
 My poor solar batteries.
Getting my car through the roadworthy test.

All these thoughts flooding seconds apart, over and over. No one thought taking charge.

Some of my Florida friends have boarded up their houses, and some have fled to the West, and some have done both. Away from the East coast and the hurricane's path. Usually these friends either have hurricane parties while the wind and rain blows, or else they just work as normal. Not this time. The predictions must be real bad. I have these people in my thoughts.
The eye should pass right over one friends house. My poor neglected RV is only 16 miles from the center of the path. It will probably get damaged. :-( It is deep in a forest, so it is protected from the wind, but the roots of the trees are in sand, and often the wind blows the trees down.

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I have always thought of having multiple air bladders inside the prosthesis socket, which would allow the varying of pressure at different points against the stump, as needed. But the mechanics of incorporating bladders into the socket design require much thought and design work. I have a medical boot that is mainly used for sprained ankles.

It has air bladders inside to control pressure at different parts of the foot to prevent the foot from moving around. I just opened mine up and removed two bladders. Now to put them somehow into my socket. I think between the soft socket liner, and the hard shell of the socket. Then when they are inflated, they will press the liner against my stump. Ideally there would be many many bladders, each individually controlled. I question the strength of the bladders.
A perfect fitting socket is every amputee's dream.

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Last night while I was watching TV, using headphones, we had a power failure. My solar system batteries kicked in, and the inverter supplied power to my house just like it was supposed to, but I didn't hear the alarm. After 4 hours of using the lights, TV,  2 computers, and cooking supper, I only then realized the power had failed. I normally reduce the electricity usage as soon as the power fails. This time I didn't know. So when I headed for bed at 23:30 I noticed my poor batteries were way below the minimum I normally allow them. Discharging batteries to far hurts them. :-( Sorry batteries.
Right then, before I could reduce the usage, the mains power came back on, and started recharging the batteries. They have been on high charge for about 4 hours now.
I need to devise a fail safe alarm, not just a soft buzzer to warn of power failure.

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I got the car brakes fixed. The one slave cylinder had leaked real bad. Now I need to take it through roadworthy before I can put it into my name from Maddie's name. The papers Maddie sent arrived yesterday. 14 days to get here from George.
At the brake repair place, I saw a notice for a company that waits in line for people at the motor vehicle department offices.
We-Q-4-U.
 In British colonies, the word "Que" means to stand in a line. These people take all my papers, and stand in line for hours in my place. It is a good employment of poor, uneducated, people. They mainly do vehicle registrations, and renewals.
They are offering a new service, where they take your car through the roadworthy inspection, then take it to mechanic to fix any defects, then back to roadworthy, and keep doing this until the car passes.
My car has non standard tires. South Africa law requires the tires to be manufacture recommended tires. My car has Mag wheels with bigger tires.
WE-Q-4-U says they will temporarily swap tires just to pass the test, then swap the tires back. This alone will save me R3000, that I was going to have to pay for new tires.
Then they take all the papers and complete the registration into my name.
We-Q-4-U charge a lot of money, but it will save me many hours of standing in lines, and dealing with people that I would rather do harm to, than smile at.
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My hot milk drink is finished, and I am sleepy now.
I am hoping the humbling, hurricane doesn't hurt my friends.
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Day 98 - New Car, Bad knee

We were up early because we had to collect the car. So last night I short dosed my Lyrica. Of course that meant I laid in pain till midnight. I took an extra Tramacet.

We have such a long list of things to do. We went to the car dealer, and poor Maddie had to sign about a zillion papers, but we drove away in the new car and the beetle. We went straight home to drop off the beetle, then both went in the Atos to do stuff on the list.

It even has mag wheels and bigger tires. :-) It is a 2005 Hyundai Atos Prime. 87,000km. The seat base is high, so is easy for me to get into and out of. It has an automatic transmission.

We went to get me a new medical aid card. There was a small restaurant in the building, and we decided to have lunch. While Maddie was at the counter, I dropped a crutch. There were many people in the line, and the crutch made a bang when it hit the floor. All the people just looked at it, except one person. A fat, black woman with screwed up hair, and lots of piercings. She came straight over and picked up the crutch and asked if I was OK. I would have guessed her to be the last person to help. It shows that good souls sometimes hide.
We then went to the prosthetic place to get some of the American style crutches. The guy brought them out and when he started to fit them we realized they were way to short. Made in China where people are smaller. He said he would order some extra large ones for me. Then Maddie mentioned we were going to go rent a wheel chair for my chemo session. The guy said that since I was going to get my prosthesis from them, they will loan me a wheel chair till the prosthesis is fitted. Cool. That saves us R800 a month. :-)
The wheel chair is a ratty old one, but it works, and folds up into the back of the Atos.

We then went shopping for an office chair. I want to be able to sit and zoom around the house. So a chair on wheels would be great. We didn't find any good ones.

Then we went to the mall to look for a small table on wheels. Like a serving table, or a TV table. I was happily crutching along and my knee went crunch and collapsed. I fell, but onto the crutches. A lady helped me up and I leaned on a display. A sales person came and asked if I was alright. I asked if she had a wheel chair, and she said yes and zoomed off. Maddie was soon there, and we waited. My knee hurt real bad. They removed the cartilage in 1973, and that knee has never been great. Now it is vital to my way of life. I did the rest of the shopping sitting in the wheelchair. In that store they had many office chairs on wheels. We may buy the one.

We then headed home. My knee needs to be watched, and kept healthy. It is sore and swollen. :-(
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20:00
Maddie just compared our spreadsheet of times and pills taken, with my blog records of how well I slept. She found a very close correlation between a certain pill count and timing, and a good night sleep. So I am trying that tonight. I sure would like a good night sleep.
I added to the pills an anti-inflammatory to keep the swelling down in my knee.
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23:00

We watched a movie. Sahara. 

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Day 91 - In Pain, and buying a car.

We both slept OK, and we got up early to drive the beetle to see another car for sale.
Maddie really likes this car. It is a 2005 Hyundai Atos  with automatic transmission.
I drove it, and it really would suit us very well. It is easy for me to get into and out of. It is about 10 years newer than some of the Mercedes we have been looking at. It is smaller and gets better fuel consumption. I am concerned about the price. It is about R15,000 more than I want to spend on a car.
Even though it seems a fair deal, it is a lot of money. That R15,000 is money that my prosthesis will not get.
We went home to think about it.
But I find it hard to concentrate, and this is a big decision. My mind is fighting phantom pain.
My toes are in spasm. The car will need to go through a roadworthy check. My stump keeps jerking in sympathy with the phantom pain. If we pay the dealer to do the roadworthy, then they must fix any discrepancies. My toes feel they were run over by a steam roller. That much money will leave me with R2000 total in the bank. This pain is real pain. R2000 won't be enough to feed me for the rest of the month. This phantom jerking takes my full attention. I'll be so short of money if I buy this car. Rubbing the stump seems to help.  I found this exact car for sale on the internet for R5000 cheaper. But it is now at another dealer. Maybe I need a pain pill. We call the salesman to talk about why the price has gone up. Rubbing does help the stump to not have pain. The salesman says that the lower price does not include roadworthy checks, license fees and the registration. The pain comes in waves. I need a car, and this is a good car at a fair price. Common sense says to buy the car, and worry about other costs later. I wonder if a constant massage would help with the pain.
I think we will buy the car. I need to maybe again try to meditate the pain away.
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Maddie, the bookkeeper, has attacked my finances.  So far she has found about 4000R discrepancies in my favor.
We dumped out seat cushions and gathered up all the money in the house.  She drove the beetle to the car dealer while I laid home in pain and tried to equanimitize the phantom pain.
She got the ball rolling, and paid over half to the dealer, and he started the paperwork, and the inspections. We will pay the remaining amount, and collect the car on maybe next Tuesday.

I feel useless. Maddie is so busy, and I lay around in pain.

I did 2 meditations today. One was a good one, and I spent about 30 minutes trying to equanimitize the phantom pain. Sweeping the stump only shows very minor sensations, and I get no feedback from the missing foot. The only sensations the missing foot has, are one that it sends out as pain signals.  I can detect nothing except the false pain signal. It is like the pain signals have no source. There is nothing to equanimitize.
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People that know me personally, know I am a very frugal person, and that I get physically ill when I spend money.
For those that don't know me, just ignore all my rants about money. I have enough money, but I will always complain loud and strong if I have to spend any.
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Day 90 - Boring, busy day

08:00
We both slept well for a change.
Angiosarcoma wasn't even thought about.
Last night one of the private sellers of a car we wanted to look at called, and we will drive there soon to look at the car. He lives a long way away, so we will meet half way. It is good he will drive the car about 100km to meet us.

Maddie asked what "Standby for Bolo" from the last blog means.
In the US Navy, during under way refueling, a ship will pull up next to a tanker and the tanker will refuel the ship while zooming along. To get the big oil hoses across between ships, there must first be a small line thrown across, so they can pull across bigger lines for the big hoses. The way the first small line gets across, is by a big sailor swinging a sandbag on the end of a 2 meter string. He hurls this heavy sandbag at the other ship. That sand bag is called a "bolo". On the tanker, the Captain would use a loud speaker to tell the other ship to "Standby For Bolo". All people on the other ship would all run and hide, or duck down. It was funny to see the Captain of a big ship run and hide behind something. So in Navy talk, "Standby for Bolo" means that a big hurt is coming your way.
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14:00
We are back after a long drive to look at the one Mercedes. It was not such a good deal. When ever we found a problem with it the guy would say "Don't worry about that, I'll fix it." I think he should have fixed that stuff before showing it to a potential customer. We will have to keep looking.

When I was a child and stubbed my toe, while busy crying, my mother would say "Try to think of something else."  Come on..This was her idea of a cure?   Shouldn't she do something constructive, like kiss it.
 This reminds me of when ever I would cry, my father would say "Stop crying, or I will give you something to really cry about."
What weird solutions my parents had, to my problems.
Maybe my parents thinking could apply to Phantom pain.

I had a lot to say today about different meditation techniques I am using to try to fight Phantom pain. Maddie thought it might be boring to many of the blog readers. I have now started using "Pages". These are separate informational pages that are about a certain subject, and can be accessed by a blog reader "if" they want further information on a subject. This should keep the blogs shorter, and less boring. These pages are listed to the right of the main blog.
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16:00
We just found a car on the internet. We called the guy, and want to go see it in the morning. It is a 2005 Hyundai Atos Prime with an automatic transmission. A very small car, that we will have to see whether I can get into and out of it. It is a bit above our set price range, but it is much newer, with far less kilometers, gets much better petrol mileage, and will be cheaper to maintain. Both Maddie and I would prefer a smaller car than a Mercedes.
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17:00
I am going to meditate, and try to reduce the phantom pain.
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19:00
As you can see, my life is almost normal. With no chemo, and no cancerous leg, I have little to write about. Once a car is bought, then I'll just be fighting the Phantom pains.
Chemo starts again on the 18th of November. Seeing how I cope on crutches with chemo will be the next big challenge.
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