Today was perfect weather. I did a long walk (for me) of 11.85 km. (About 7.5 miles)
While at the mall, I went to a big book store, and read the different books by people with cancer, and how they dealt with it. The books were very similar to each other, and to even my blog. The same thoughts.
I sat in the mall and listened to people talk.
Blah...blah...blah...I wonder what the oncologist will say tomorrow..blah..blah..blah..I wonder what the PET scan report said...blah ...blah...blah..I wonder if the op on my leg will allow me to get around by myself...blah ...blah...blah.
It is like I have only one thing on my mind. Cancer.
I used to think I would never live to be 40.. then 50....then 60. So why am I so surprised and shocked by this possible death by cancer?
The logic of death, says that everyone dies, so I will just be one of the previous 108 Billion people that have died. But some how, it has become personal, not logical. Personal.
My brother said I should live by the phrase, "Don't go there, till you get there."
In the future I may have things that are concerning, and worrying. To worry about them now, is just borrowing worry from the future. I am sure there will be enough time for worry, when it is time to worry.
I stopped half way back at a dance studio. Dance studios often have good
cafes or coffee shops. I ate a scrambled egg with feta, and had a large
coffee.
Tomorrow at 10:00 I will meet the oncologist. Hopefully she will have the report by the radiologist of the PET scan.
Doctors are evasive in their replies.
Definition of Forthright - frank, direct, straightforward, honest, candid, open, sincere, outspoken, straight, blunt, plain-spoken, no-nonsense.
I don't believe I have ever met a "forthright" Doctor.
I have a list of things to ask her.
Assuming I am not killed by an accident, will I die from this cancer?
Will this cancer be the cause of my death?
How often will we check the spread of cancer?
Will the checking be by PET scan?
How deep are the sores on my leg?
How will the surgery limit my walking?
Is amputation an option?
How deep can you cut and still allow me a return to a healthy leg?
Is the surgery worth it, if a major part of my lifespan, is the recovery time from this op?
Will chemo be able to "cure" this cancer?
If not then why are we doing it? Shouldn't we go straight to Immunotherapy?
I am worried because it is a big piece of me they want to remove. 28cm x
18 cm was the guess before the PET scan. I think that area is now
larger, and much deeper. Well into the muscle if I look at the PET pics.
Immunotherapy seems more "pass or fail". Chemo seems too much like just "fucking around" with cancer. A little poison here, a little poison there. Maybe we will slow it down, and you can survive a few years till the leukemia kills you.
I wish I knew more about this whole thing.
Monday, 7 September 2015
Sunday, 6 September 2015
Day 32 - Finances
I have been thinking about finances today.
To see how wealthy I really am, I take my total wealth, and divide by the number of years I have to spend it. If I have a million bucks, and think I will die in 20 years, then I can spend 50,000 a year. If I think I will die in 2 years, then I can spend 500,000 a year. Cancer makes me feel rich.
But cancer also, makes much of my wealth unavailable. I have property in the US. To sell that property would require a long period of time. So that property wealth does me no good in the short term. Much of my wealth, has no value because I will not be able to convert it into something like a Ferrari.
My largest single asset is my house in Pretoria. That asset was going to be the last thing I would convert into cash. Probably when I am old, and needed frail care, or an assisted living retirement home. If I live another 20 years, then I want to keep the house as my last reserve. If I am going to live another 2 years, it is probably not worth my time selling it, before I die. With cancer, long term assets have less value, than short term assets.
So if my time left is short term, I am not as wealthy as I had hoped. Some of my assets are easy and quick to convert to cash. I also have the advantage of not caring about the tax man. What is the worst the tax man can do in 2 years? If the tax man has something worse than giving me cancer, then, I would be worried.
If I have 2 years to live, I would like to have maximum cash now. It is to bad that most of this planning relies on knowing when I will die. If I know that I am going to get hit by a bus this afternoon, then there is no way I can spend, or enjoy, even 1% of my wealth before I die.
I heard today that: "More people die with prostate cancer than from prostate cancer. "
I wonder if that is the same with other cancers. I think some cancers act too fast, to give other types of death a chance. It would be interesting to know what percentage of people die with cancer, versus die from cancer.
Maybe that is where the saying "I am not dying from cancer, I am living with cancer. " comes from.
To see how wealthy I really am, I take my total wealth, and divide by the number of years I have to spend it. If I have a million bucks, and think I will die in 20 years, then I can spend 50,000 a year. If I think I will die in 2 years, then I can spend 500,000 a year. Cancer makes me feel rich.
But cancer also, makes much of my wealth unavailable. I have property in the US. To sell that property would require a long period of time. So that property wealth does me no good in the short term. Much of my wealth, has no value because I will not be able to convert it into something like a Ferrari.
My largest single asset is my house in Pretoria. That asset was going to be the last thing I would convert into cash. Probably when I am old, and needed frail care, or an assisted living retirement home. If I live another 20 years, then I want to keep the house as my last reserve. If I am going to live another 2 years, it is probably not worth my time selling it, before I die. With cancer, long term assets have less value, than short term assets.
So if my time left is short term, I am not as wealthy as I had hoped. Some of my assets are easy and quick to convert to cash. I also have the advantage of not caring about the tax man. What is the worst the tax man can do in 2 years? If the tax man has something worse than giving me cancer, then, I would be worried.
If I have 2 years to live, I would like to have maximum cash now. It is to bad that most of this planning relies on knowing when I will die. If I know that I am going to get hit by a bus this afternoon, then there is no way I can spend, or enjoy, even 1% of my wealth before I die.
I heard today that: "More people die with prostate cancer than from prostate cancer. "
I wonder if that is the same with other cancers. I think some cancers act too fast, to give other types of death a chance. It would be interesting to know what percentage of people die with cancer, versus die from cancer.
Maybe that is where the saying "I am not dying from cancer, I am living with cancer. " comes from.
Saturday, 5 September 2015
Day 31 - No Thoughts
I slept poorly, and only fell asleep after taking a sleeping pill at around 01:30. I have been tired all day.
Today was rainy, cold, and windy.
So I just bundled up warm, and read all day.
No thoughts of the future, and no thoughts of cancer.
Today was rainy, cold, and windy.
So I just bundled up warm, and read all day.
No thoughts of the future, and no thoughts of cancer.
Friday, 4 September 2015
Day 30 - Learning about Chemo
I have been tired all day. Yesterday was a hard day.
I ate a real breakfast at a restaurant this morning. Not healthy for my body, but great for my soul.
I have been trying to learn more about different chemotherapy drugs, so I'll know more about what the Oncologist will prescribe. There are many different types of chemo, as well as different dosages. I need to read up more about the many types, such as:
Alkylating agents - These damage DNA to keep the cell from reproducing. They can cause long-term damage to the bone marrow. This can lead to leukemia.
Antimetabolites - These agents damage cells during the phase when the cell’s chromosomes are being copied.
Anti-tumor antibiotics - Here the term Antibiotic is used in the general sense. It kills biotics like cancer.
Anthracyclines - anti-tumor antibiotics that interfere with enzymes involved in DNA replication.
Topoisomerase inhibitors - These drugs interfere with enzymes which help separate the strands of DNA.
Mitotic inhibitors - Plant alkaloids and other compounds derived from natural products. They damage cells by keeping enzymes from making proteins needed for cell reproduction
Corticosteroids - Corticosteroids, often simply called steroids, are useful in the treatment of many types of cancer, as well as other illnesses.
Other things I have been reading about is the different goals of chemo. Different goals need different drugs.
Copied from here:
http://chemocare.com/chemotherapy/what-is-chemotherapy/chemotherapy-terms.aspx
Adjuvant chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given to destroy left-over (microscopic) cells that may be present after the known tumor is removed by surgery. Adjuvant chemotherapy is given to prevent a possible cancer reoccurrence.
Neoadjuvant chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given prior to the surgical procedure. Neoadjuvant chemotherapy may be given to attempt to shrink the cancer so that the surgical procedure may not need to be as extensive.
Induction chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given to induce a remission. This term is commonly used in the treatment of acute leukemias.
Consolidation chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given once a remission is achieved. The goal of this therapy is to sustain a remission. Consolidation chemotherapy may also be called intensification therapy. This term is commonly used in the treatment of acute leukemias.
Maintenance chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given in lower doses to assist in prolonging a remission. Maintenance chemotherapy is used only for certain types of cancer, most commonly acute lymphocytic leukemias and acute promyelocytic leukemias.
First line chemotherapy - Chemotherapy that has, through research studies and clinical trials, been determined to have the best probability of treating a given cancer. This may also be called standard therapy.
Second line chemotherapy - Chemotherapy that is given if a disease has not responded or reoccurred after first line chemotherapy. Second line chemotherapy has, through research studies and clinical trials, been determined to be effective in treating a given cancer that has not responded or reoccurred after standard chemotherapy. In some cases, this may also be referred to as salvage therapy.
Palliative chemotherapy - Palliative is a type of chemotherapy that is given specifically to address symptom management without expecting to significantly reduce the cancer
Targeted therapy is like chemo that is more specific in attacking cancer cells only, and leaving other fast growing cells alone. Some fast growing cells are hair, intestines, mucus membranes, and bone marrow. Targeting allows stronger doses, with less side effects.
I also need to read about Immunotherapy. That sounds like the one with the best prospects of a "cure".
I ate a real breakfast at a restaurant this morning. Not healthy for my body, but great for my soul.
I have been trying to learn more about different chemotherapy drugs, so I'll know more about what the Oncologist will prescribe. There are many different types of chemo, as well as different dosages. I need to read up more about the many types, such as:
Alkylating agents - These damage DNA to keep the cell from reproducing. They can cause long-term damage to the bone marrow. This can lead to leukemia.
Antimetabolites - These agents damage cells during the phase when the cell’s chromosomes are being copied.
Anti-tumor antibiotics - Here the term Antibiotic is used in the general sense. It kills biotics like cancer.
Anthracyclines - anti-tumor antibiotics that interfere with enzymes involved in DNA replication.
Topoisomerase inhibitors - These drugs interfere with enzymes which help separate the strands of DNA.
Mitotic inhibitors - Plant alkaloids and other compounds derived from natural products. They damage cells by keeping enzymes from making proteins needed for cell reproduction
Corticosteroids - Corticosteroids, often simply called steroids, are useful in the treatment of many types of cancer, as well as other illnesses.
Other things I have been reading about is the different goals of chemo. Different goals need different drugs.
Copied from here:
http://chemocare.com/chemotherapy/what-is-chemotherapy/chemotherapy-terms.aspx
Adjuvant chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given to destroy left-over (microscopic) cells that may be present after the known tumor is removed by surgery. Adjuvant chemotherapy is given to prevent a possible cancer reoccurrence.
Neoadjuvant chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given prior to the surgical procedure. Neoadjuvant chemotherapy may be given to attempt to shrink the cancer so that the surgical procedure may not need to be as extensive.
Induction chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given to induce a remission. This term is commonly used in the treatment of acute leukemias.
Consolidation chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given once a remission is achieved. The goal of this therapy is to sustain a remission. Consolidation chemotherapy may also be called intensification therapy. This term is commonly used in the treatment of acute leukemias.
Maintenance chemotherapy - Chemotherapy given in lower doses to assist in prolonging a remission. Maintenance chemotherapy is used only for certain types of cancer, most commonly acute lymphocytic leukemias and acute promyelocytic leukemias.
First line chemotherapy - Chemotherapy that has, through research studies and clinical trials, been determined to have the best probability of treating a given cancer. This may also be called standard therapy.
Second line chemotherapy - Chemotherapy that is given if a disease has not responded or reoccurred after first line chemotherapy. Second line chemotherapy has, through research studies and clinical trials, been determined to be effective in treating a given cancer that has not responded or reoccurred after standard chemotherapy. In some cases, this may also be referred to as salvage therapy.
Palliative chemotherapy - Palliative is a type of chemotherapy that is given specifically to address symptom management without expecting to significantly reduce the cancer
Targeted therapy is like chemo that is more specific in attacking cancer cells only, and leaving other fast growing cells alone. Some fast growing cells are hair, intestines, mucus membranes, and bone marrow. Targeting allows stronger doses, with less side effects.
I also need to read about Immunotherapy. That sounds like the one with the best prospects of a "cure".
There is so much to learn, to be able to understand what is happening to me, and how to fight it best.
Thursday, 3 September 2015
Day 29 - Day of PET scan
I was scheduled for a PET scan on Wednesday, but something broke and there was no FDG. They rescheduled me for Friday. Then yesterday late the PET scan lady called saying they might have a cancellation for today, Thursday, did I want to chance it. I said yes.
So I was up at 5 and drove to the hospital in moderate traffic, and arrived there around 07:00. I called the scan lady, and she said to be there by 9. I was already there. So I read a bit, and meditated a bit, and walked into the PET scan place around 8:30.
You have to walk through the X-ray department, then through the CAT scan department to get to the tucked away PET scan place. Very informal. I liked the ladies there. They would walk past and chat.
Because yesterday was a disaster for them, and they ended up with 7 people that didn't get scanned, they had a huge back log. Normally after you finish the scan, you wait around about 30 minutes, to see if it was a good scan. If it was not, then they quickly do another one. But with the big backlog the ladies were trying to move people quickly. After my scan, before I even left the scan room, the next person was getting on the table.
This way they can do many more people, but, if there is a bad scan, the radio active drug would be to weak before the machine was available again. That person would need to be re-booked another day.
The ladies did well, and the complexities were dealt with in real time. Each persons cancer and weight have a different FDG, so it is custom made. Also the time to have it get absorbed, varies with the amount of muscle and fat in the body. The guy right after me was fat, so he actually got the IV before me, but I got scanned before him. The ladies had a real juggling act going.
After the scan is done, they allow you to eat, and drink coffee. I had brought with me, a banana and some plums...not nearly enough after 2 days of a zero carb diet. There was a lady and an old man waiting with me. It takes about one hour thirty for the radioactivity to get low enough to allow you to be near other people. So us radioactive people just sat, and chatted.
The lady was there because she had had uterus cancer, and then later bladder cancer. She had been in remission for 2 years, but it looked like it was back someplace else.
The old man had a double mastectomy. Men also get breast cancer. His had spread into the lymph system, so he was getting heavy chemo. Today's PET was a check to see if the chemo was working. If not, then his oncologist will have to change something. All three of us felt that the doctors have more important things in life, than the patients, and we all thought the whole health system was overly complex.
A special radiologist will look at the scan pics, and write a report within 3 working days. I asked them please to rush mine as I have an Oncology appointment on Tuesday morning. (2 working days.) So hopefully I will get the results Tuesday morning at the oncologist.
Even my Oncologist says that the PET scan pictures are very deceiving, and there are many traps for false positives, and false negatives.
So once again I am in a waiting game. No more information till Tuesday morning....maybe.
So I was up at 5 and drove to the hospital in moderate traffic, and arrived there around 07:00. I called the scan lady, and she said to be there by 9. I was already there. So I read a bit, and meditated a bit, and walked into the PET scan place around 8:30.
You have to walk through the X-ray department, then through the CAT scan department to get to the tucked away PET scan place. Very informal. I liked the ladies there. They would walk past and chat.
Because yesterday was a disaster for them, and they ended up with 7 people that didn't get scanned, they had a huge back log. Normally after you finish the scan, you wait around about 30 minutes, to see if it was a good scan. If it was not, then they quickly do another one. But with the big backlog the ladies were trying to move people quickly. After my scan, before I even left the scan room, the next person was getting on the table.
This way they can do many more people, but, if there is a bad scan, the radio active drug would be to weak before the machine was available again. That person would need to be re-booked another day.
The ladies did well, and the complexities were dealt with in real time. Each persons cancer and weight have a different FDG, so it is custom made. Also the time to have it get absorbed, varies with the amount of muscle and fat in the body. The guy right after me was fat, so he actually got the IV before me, but I got scanned before him. The ladies had a real juggling act going.
After the scan is done, they allow you to eat, and drink coffee. I had brought with me, a banana and some plums...not nearly enough after 2 days of a zero carb diet. There was a lady and an old man waiting with me. It takes about one hour thirty for the radioactivity to get low enough to allow you to be near other people. So us radioactive people just sat, and chatted.
The lady was there because she had had uterus cancer, and then later bladder cancer. She had been in remission for 2 years, but it looked like it was back someplace else.
The old man had a double mastectomy. Men also get breast cancer. His had spread into the lymph system, so he was getting heavy chemo. Today's PET was a check to see if the chemo was working. If not, then his oncologist will have to change something. All three of us felt that the doctors have more important things in life, than the patients, and we all thought the whole health system was overly complex.
A special radiologist will look at the scan pics, and write a report within 3 working days. I asked them please to rush mine as I have an Oncology appointment on Tuesday morning. (2 working days.) So hopefully I will get the results Tuesday morning at the oncologist.
Even my Oncologist says that the PET scan pictures are very deceiving, and there are many traps for false positives, and false negatives.
So once again I am in a waiting game. No more information till Tuesday morning....maybe.
Wednesday, 2 September 2015
Day 28 - Failed PET scan
What a disappointment. The FDG preparation for my Pet scan this morning failed. So they rescheduled me for Friday morning. :-(
I was up at 5:00 and made a fruit salad for lunch, and a thermos of coffee. Nothing by mouth, except water, for the last 7 hours. No carbs or sugars for 24 hours. I packed all my clothes I would need during and after the scan. I made sure the Beetle would start, and then they called saying that my FDG production had failed.
This cancer has a very powerful encouragement to learn about things I never even knew existed. FDG is one of them. You can call it 2-deoxy-2-(18F)fluoro-D-glucose, if you prefer.
From this article:
http://mg.co.za/article/2013-08-02-00-sa-corners-radioactive-market
--------
At the Pelindaba Nuclear facility, outside Pretoria, vast energies are pumped into a cyclotron — a machine that accelerates protons and neutrons, the building blocks of matter, and smashes them into a material.
The machine creates beams of these particles that bombard a target substance, creating fluorine-18 [18F], which is mixed with fluorodeoxyglucose (FDG). It is quickly packaged and driven to the nearest hospital and injected into a waiting patient’s blood stream.
The clock is ticking. Its radioactive decay is measured by its half-life, which is the time it takes for half of the substance to decay. 18F-FDG has a half-life of 110 minutes and after that time it is not effective, which is what dictates the stringent deadlines to get it from the lab into the patient. From the minute the intimidatingly named 18F-FDG is created, doctors have less than two hours to administer the radioactive substance to their patient before it becomes ineffective. With it, the doctor will be able to map their patient’s cancer and be better equipped to treat it using a PET/CT scan.
18F-FDG is a substance that behaves like glucose when ingested into the body, but it cannot be metabolized. This means it will pass harmlessly through the system once it has done its work. Although most of it will be excreted after consumption, after 12 hours it will be in effect untraceable in your body.
-------
It hurts my little brain to remember that an FDG PET/CT scan is really a "fludeoxyglucose positron emission tomography/computed tomography scan".
I was up at 5:00 and made a fruit salad for lunch, and a thermos of coffee. Nothing by mouth, except water, for the last 7 hours. No carbs or sugars for 24 hours. I packed all my clothes I would need during and after the scan. I made sure the Beetle would start, and then they called saying that my FDG production had failed.
This cancer has a very powerful encouragement to learn about things I never even knew existed. FDG is one of them. You can call it 2-deoxy-2-(18F)fluoro-D-glucose, if you prefer.
From this article:
http://mg.co.za/article/2013-08-02-00-sa-corners-radioactive-market
--------
At the Pelindaba Nuclear facility, outside Pretoria, vast energies are pumped into a cyclotron — a machine that accelerates protons and neutrons, the building blocks of matter, and smashes them into a material.
The machine creates beams of these particles that bombard a target substance, creating fluorine-18 [18F], which is mixed with fluorodeoxyglucose (FDG). It is quickly packaged and driven to the nearest hospital and injected into a waiting patient’s blood stream.
The clock is ticking. Its radioactive decay is measured by its half-life, which is the time it takes for half of the substance to decay. 18F-FDG has a half-life of 110 minutes and after that time it is not effective, which is what dictates the stringent deadlines to get it from the lab into the patient. From the minute the intimidatingly named 18F-FDG is created, doctors have less than two hours to administer the radioactive substance to their patient before it becomes ineffective. With it, the doctor will be able to map their patient’s cancer and be better equipped to treat it using a PET/CT scan.
18F-FDG is a substance that behaves like glucose when ingested into the body, but it cannot be metabolized. This means it will pass harmlessly through the system once it has done its work. Although most of it will be excreted after consumption, after 12 hours it will be in effect untraceable in your body.
-------
It hurts my little brain to remember that an FDG PET/CT scan is really a "fludeoxyglucose positron emission tomography/computed tomography scan".
Tuesday, 1 September 2015
Day 27 - About the coming PET scan
I got up at 05:00 this morning. Trying to get in the mood for tomorrow's early PET scan. My PETscan os scheduled for 07:30.
Today I ate an egg with minced pilchards for breakfast. Egg and pilchards for lunch, and supper is steaming now. Broccoli and Haddock.
I did not go for a walk today. I have been following the pre-PET scan procedure exactly.
I called the Oncologist and got a booking to see her on Tuesday the 8th to review the results of the PET scan.
I went to the WCL (Wound Care Lady) today. She changed the dressing on the leg. It looks much better The sores are smaller and look like they are healing...But...The purple area that surrounds the sores is larger and darker. So the sores are healing, but the bad area is spreading. She said that she can see many new sores developing inside the bad area
The area in question is about 28 cm X 18 cm. (11in x 7 in) between my ankle and the knee on my left leg. The exact extent of the lymphatic cell that are cancerous can only be determined by a PET scan. Then the plan will most likely be, to remove the skin from that area.
If the cancer hasn't spread beyond that area, then removing that skin should slow down the spread to other areas of my body. But, maybe removing that skin will only be like closing the barn door after the horse has run away.
I am thinking about adding some solar panels to my roof solar system. But I need to see what the PET scan says before I want to commit money to that.
I never like being told what to do. Maybe that comes from being an aircraft Captain for 30 years. I hate alarm clocks for the same reason. I don't like some machine bossing me around. The worst is when I try to shut down my computer, and it tells me I need to do something else first. Who is in charge? I say stop, shut down, die, and then it argues with me. I just pull the plug.
This cancer thing makes me want to pull the plug on the world. I am SO not in charge. I can see why people commit suicide. It puts them in charge.
Well I now need to eat my fish and broccoli, and get out my clothes for tomorrow. They say wear comfortable clothes with no metal.
I will arrive around 06:30 at the Little Company of Mary Hospital. For one hour before the scan I am not supposed to read, or move lots, or even talk. They also say I must keep warm. The goo will be absorbed by any cell needing energy. So if I talk a lot, then my vocal chords will require energy, and so they will absorb the goo. Also my eye muscles will absorb if my eyes move a lot. If I get cold, then the fat will absorb the goo.
The goo they inject me with is made that morning at 03:00. Part is via a needle and bag, and part is drank. It takes about an hour for the goo to move around, and get absorbed my cancer cells. It is absorbed where normally sugar would be absorbed. Thats why the zero carb diet for 24 hours comes from.
Then the PET/CT scan starts. It will take about 25 minutes. I will be in like a big hot dog bun, and I will be the hot dog. They say it is not noisy like an MRI, but is silent. I must be very still and not move. I am worried about my back starting to cramp up.
After the scan, they want me to sit quietly till they check if the scan was a good one. If not we do it again. If it was a good scan and the pictures are good, then I will be allowed to eat and drink. They say to bring my own food, a thermos of coffee, and something to read.
Since the goo is very radioactive, I can not come into contact with any children or pregnant ladies for a few hours. They want me to stay with them for a few hours till I pee out all the radioactive goo.
They will then get a radiologist to interpret the scan. They say it takes 3 working days. So I scan on Wednesday, and three working days is Monday, when the Oncologist will recieve the report, then on Tuesday at 09:30 I have an appointment with the Oncologist to get the verdict.
I feel that finally something is happening.
Today I ate an egg with minced pilchards for breakfast. Egg and pilchards for lunch, and supper is steaming now. Broccoli and Haddock.
I did not go for a walk today. I have been following the pre-PET scan procedure exactly.
I called the Oncologist and got a booking to see her on Tuesday the 8th to review the results of the PET scan.
I went to the WCL (Wound Care Lady) today. She changed the dressing on the leg. It looks much better The sores are smaller and look like they are healing...But...The purple area that surrounds the sores is larger and darker. So the sores are healing, but the bad area is spreading. She said that she can see many new sores developing inside the bad area
The area in question is about 28 cm X 18 cm. (11in x 7 in) between my ankle and the knee on my left leg. The exact extent of the lymphatic cell that are cancerous can only be determined by a PET scan. Then the plan will most likely be, to remove the skin from that area.
If the cancer hasn't spread beyond that area, then removing that skin should slow down the spread to other areas of my body. But, maybe removing that skin will only be like closing the barn door after the horse has run away.
I am thinking about adding some solar panels to my roof solar system. But I need to see what the PET scan says before I want to commit money to that.
I never like being told what to do. Maybe that comes from being an aircraft Captain for 30 years. I hate alarm clocks for the same reason. I don't like some machine bossing me around. The worst is when I try to shut down my computer, and it tells me I need to do something else first. Who is in charge? I say stop, shut down, die, and then it argues with me. I just pull the plug.
This cancer thing makes me want to pull the plug on the world. I am SO not in charge. I can see why people commit suicide. It puts them in charge.
Well I now need to eat my fish and broccoli, and get out my clothes for tomorrow. They say wear comfortable clothes with no metal.
I will arrive around 06:30 at the Little Company of Mary Hospital. For one hour before the scan I am not supposed to read, or move lots, or even talk. They also say I must keep warm. The goo will be absorbed by any cell needing energy. So if I talk a lot, then my vocal chords will require energy, and so they will absorb the goo. Also my eye muscles will absorb if my eyes move a lot. If I get cold, then the fat will absorb the goo.
The goo they inject me with is made that morning at 03:00. Part is via a needle and bag, and part is drank. It takes about an hour for the goo to move around, and get absorbed my cancer cells. It is absorbed where normally sugar would be absorbed. Thats why the zero carb diet for 24 hours comes from.
Then the PET/CT scan starts. It will take about 25 minutes. I will be in like a big hot dog bun, and I will be the hot dog. They say it is not noisy like an MRI, but is silent. I must be very still and not move. I am worried about my back starting to cramp up.
After the scan, they want me to sit quietly till they check if the scan was a good one. If not we do it again. If it was a good scan and the pictures are good, then I will be allowed to eat and drink. They say to bring my own food, a thermos of coffee, and something to read.
Since the goo is very radioactive, I can not come into contact with any children or pregnant ladies for a few hours. They want me to stay with them for a few hours till I pee out all the radioactive goo.
They will then get a radiologist to interpret the scan. They say it takes 3 working days. So I scan on Wednesday, and three working days is Monday, when the Oncologist will recieve the report, then on Tuesday at 09:30 I have an appointment with the Oncologist to get the verdict.
I feel that finally something is happening.
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