Sep 4 2016 - Nightmares and Immortality.

A few mornings ago, I awoke from a nightmare at 03:30. I didn't sleep again till after 05:30.
In the nightmare, my body was covered by hundreds of Angiosarcoma tumors.

There is nothing I can do to prevent my death, and anything I do to delay death, seems to make my current existence less enjoyable.

Sallekhana is the spiritual detachment, and declaration that a person is finished with this world and has chosen to leave it. Usually because of old age, famine, or disease.
It is not suicide. No violence to the body. Just a choice to return the soul to the universe, from where it came.

Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. As I sit here and breath, my body heat is warming this room a bit. Therefore, it is also warming Africa (a tiny bit), and also warming the whole Earth (a very, tiny bit).
The growth of a cactus, on a ranch in Texas, is being affected, by my sitting at a computer in South Africa. (a very, super tiny bit).

 If I die right now, by having rearranged the distribution of energy, I have changed the world.
All my friends are changed. The energy my friends get from the earth, and from the air they breath, is different, because of me.

All the energy, and morality I put into this universe, will change everyone, and everything, till the end of time.
I am immortal. :-)

My immortality didn't keep Maddie from moving on with her life, and finding another man. She has paid her dues by taking care of a husband that died from cancer, then taking care of me, with cancer, and the losing of my leg.
If I was her, I would be looking for someone to take care of ME for a change. I wish her the best of luck with life.

Today I had to go get more prescription drugs at the pharmacy. It seemed like all the stupid and rude people in the world were also at the pharmacy. I came home, and there was no-one to tell about the stupid people. It takes a very intimate friend to care about what I did this day. Today's events were trivial, but I still wanted to share them.

I miss Maddie. :-(

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