Day 47 - Stupid people

Today my friend invited me to lunch. I was feeling very tired and declined. An hour later he calls, then shows up. We chat for a bit then go to lunch anyway.
My body told me to have a salad, but my soul wanted real food. A beef burrito, with lots of Tabasco sauce was the result.. It was GREAT! But maybe not a good idea, as I have had diarrhea for a few days.
We then went shopping for some food.
 During the day my forearms itched. When home, I looked, and both forearms are purple with red dots all over. They look like my leg did a month ago. Tumors could not have grown that fast. It must be an allergy. Both places they put the IVs in the crook of my elbow are bruised. Maybe I need a chemo port put into my chest.

Getting out today was good. I wanted to do many things today:
Take the beetle in to fix the oil leaks.
Work on my solar panel mounts.
Read more about Ethereum.
None of these happened. I was too stupid, too tired.

It is said that... "Stupid people don't know they are stupid."
This is not always true.
I am stupid, and I know it. My brain cannot process information with the same ability, it could a month ago.
Chemo Brain.

Normal stupid people are born that way, and therefore have no comparison of their stupidity. There are many observations that indicate I cannot think as well as a month ago.
My last 23 "Challenging" Sudoku games have taken me about 15% longer than a month ago. My ability to design train signal networks in OpenTTD is not as precise as a month ago.

Today, while reading a white paper on Ethereum, (a blockchain technology for smart property), I wanted to find more about the author, so Googled his name. What opened up was a web site about Staffie dogs, and how they need a different training method because of the generalized personality of Staffies.
It was interesting. Then I hung up laundry.
After hanging the laundry, I sat down to finish reading the white paper. It was gone, and there were now many links to dogs. 
Meditators call this "monkey mind". The inability to remain focused on any train of thought.

Chemo may extend my life by a few years, but is it better to live 6 months with clear thinking, or 2 years as a fool?

Cancer sucks.
Chemo sucks.
Stupid people suck.

I am all three.

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