Day 118 - short depressing blog

I have been dragged so far down a deep hole, I don't know the way out.
I have been in this bed three days now. I hate this bed.
Maddie bought me a new wheelchair. I haven't even touched it yet.
Maddie fell in love with a strong, world wise, Texan. He has turned into a diaper wearing, bed ridden weakling.

 My brother always says "Don't go there, till you get there."
Sorry Bro, I got there today.

I filled my diaper twice today.

Maddie is a wonderful soul. One of the best ever. She does not deserve her husband dying of lung cancer. She does not deserve to go through that again with me.
She should be married to a millionaire, and living on a yacht in the Greek islands.
I asked her to please try to get me to George tomorrow.

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20:20

I feel better. Maddie drove to the oncologist, and got lots of diarrhea stuff for me. She has been feeding me and she stopped the diarrhea.

Chemo, phantom pain, and then the diarrhea hit me hard. Yesterday and today were some of the worst days of my life. And don't forget that I have angiosarcoma cancer AND just lost a leg. 

Maddie is all packed for George, and of course, I haven't started packing yet.

My new wheelchair is super. Much higher quality than I need. I like that. 

Maddie just took a picture of me in my new wheelchair wearing just a diaper. She refuses to allow anybody to see that picture.

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