Day 61 - Talk with Maddie

I slept well and long. I took a pill at 23:00, and up before 09:00.

Tomorrow is chemo. :-(

Today I went and gave the blood test lady some blood. I will collect the results tomorrow before going to chemo.

I got the seat belt parts for the beetle. They work, but it is a make-do system. Not perfect.

I shaved my head. Before, I had just used the clippers to make a very short stubble, but then I just get a zillion very short hair all over my pillow. I haven't shaved my face for many days. It doesn't need it.

Maddie called and we talked. She will come and stay with me after the operation. Unless I am sure I will be able to walk and drive. But there are so many variables to the operation.
1. Will further chemo make the tumors smaller, and therefore require less muscle removed. If so then I may still need a few more weeks of chemo before the operation.
2. If they plan on removing all the tumors as shown on the PET scan with the surrounding 5cm. Then that will completely remove most of the leg muscles. My ankle is only 7 cm across. So a tumor near the center of my lower leg will remove ALL the muscle and skin from one side of the leg, completely to the other side, leaving only the bone. I can't see that being any good. Or any fun either.
3. If the leg will be useless, then they might as well remove it.
4. If there is any sign of tumor nearer the knee then the amputation will be above the knee. That would suck.

 Always more questions than answers.

So...
Maybe the operation will be soon, maybe not. 
Maybe it will remove most of my leg muscle, maybe not.
Maybe it will be a "simple" below the knee amputation, maybe not.
Maybe I'll still be able to walk, maybe not.
Maybe I'll be able to drive, maybe not.
Maybe the cancer will spread, and this operation will have been a waste of time, of which I will have little left.......or...Maybe not.

F.U.A.S.
 ---