Last night, Maddie and I had a long phone chat about the upcoming amputation. She will fly here a few days before, and nurse me. :-) She isn't a trained health care person, but she is great for the soul. Right now my soul needs as much care as my body does. It will be good to see her again, but I fear it will strain our relationship, as I am not a good person lately. If I don't like me, how can someone else?
A good friend dropped by last night on his way home from work, and we talked computers for a few hours. It is good to think about other things for a short while. But Angiosarcoma is still the predominant theme running through my mind.
We were talking about an IPv6 Firewall on a VPS that was misbehaving. It sure looked like it was configured properly. While discussing it, my mind would drift to other things, like will I be able to talk with him in a year, will VPS Firewalls be the last thing on my mind in a year. Aren't things like the lizard population in my back yard actually more important to this world that VPS firewalls? And what about amputations and artificial knee joints. How would the knee joint communicate with the ankle joint.Some of the artificial legs use high speed serial protocols, but most prosthesis are low tech rods and cables, even the ones that are called state of the art. "State of the art" in prosthesis is not very high tech compared with something that can be mass produced like your home WiFi router......Oh.... IPv6.....And my mind returns to my buddy talking.
It feels like chemo brain, but I have been chemo free for days now. I think it would probably take weeks to rid myself of the effects of chemo.
After he left, I took a sleeping pill and that gave me a good nights sleep. The best in weeks.
Today is chemo day. So in a few hours, I will be considering petting the dog, as a high tech procedure, that will require a lot of concentration to do properly. I hate stupid people. In a few hours I will be one. :-(
It is a cloudy day. My solar system is only giving me 2.4 amps. Yesterday it was around 10.4 by this time. I am going to admit defeat and switch the house to the grid. The solar won't even keep my laptop running. I do have the WiFi router running on the solar system. It only draws .7 amps.
I really want to be hooking up an IPv6 tunnel to the USA high speed internet backbone. But I think I will eat some steamed broccoli for breakfast instead. I also need to start a load of laundry.
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22:00
I better be quick, I took a sleeping pill 25 minutes ago.
Chemo was chemo. I passed out in the chair, and the lady woke me up and said that she pulled the IV out 20 minutes ago, and they have cleaned everywhere, and want to go home. I've never been kicked out of Chemo facility before. It must be a first. Usually people zoom out of that place. :-)
I was very careful on the drive home. I should not have been driving. I stopped in a petrol station near the hospital and really thought about calling a taxi. But I just drive home. I'm glad I did.
I have started shopping for a car with an automatic transmission. It sure looks like a 1995-ish E220 Mercedes-Benz is about what I will be buying. Most are between R20,000 - R40,000. ( US$1500 and US$3000) A real petrol hog, but I usually only drive about 100 km/month so petrol is not that big a consideration when compared with ease of entry, initial cost and safety. Maintenance will be high, but only if it is things that "need" fixing, and not just squeaks and groans. It will only be a community car and will seldom go 100km/hr, or travel more that 10 km. I need to do this purchase soon, as I would much rather Maddie be driving around in a Mercedes that a beetle. I'm sure she would also. :-)
I had a long talk with the oncologist. She will go visit the surgeon and chat with him. Their offices are very close in the same complex.
I told her that I may have surgery next week, and she said she didn't think so.
The surgeon will want a week to 10 days for the white blood cell count to raise up a bit before any surgery, so he will probably cancel chemo for a week or two before surgery. Since the surgeon was very specific that we don't stop chemo, and don't lower the dosage for this week, he must think surgery will only be after 10 day to 2 weeks from now.
Maddie and I just talked. I have made her a contributing editor of my blog. So if I can not write for the day, she can tell people what is happening with me on the blog. She will be able to write her own blog on Kgwedi's Cancer blog site.
I hope we don't screw that up. :-)
It would be easy for one of us to write something, then the other correct a spelling mistake and wipe out what the other has written. We need to be careful.
I'm am drowsy. Heading for bed.
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